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Category Archives: Personal Stories

A Death In Your Family, Hate And Greed

One of my loved ones is going through an extremely difficult, dark, tragic time right now and I find myself in dire need of reader input, I don’t really know if my opinions are unbiased and fair in this case, as I went through something very similar several years ago. I welcome any comments, any brutally honest input that any of you have, if you too have ever gone through a similar circumstance then you know exactly why it’s a hard situation to offer any advice or guidance on.

I will be as brief as possible, while trying to include all of the pertinent facts, even though the story is a long one. A couple has four grown children and while they divorced many years ago, their property was never settled, both the man and the woman always believed that if one of them died, the other one would inherit their half of their property. Sadly, the man passes away without a will so the majority of the children had to vote for which of them would be in charge of the estate, the younger of the two daughters was in charge and the four learned that each of them owned one eighth of the parents property (1/4 of their dads half ). The mother, in her seventies, had to go and take out a loan to pay off two of the four children, the oldest (daughter) and the youngest (son), for their share of the property. The younger daughter in charge and the oldest son gave their shares to their mother, forfeiting the six thousand five hundred dollars each. The daughter in charge, Emma, tried to do right by her mother throughout the ordeal, because her mother had always wanted to live in the house without having to worry about her ex selling it, Emma was led to believe that her mother always wanted to live out her golden years in the house that she claimed to so love.

Of the four children, the youngest, Jim treated the mother the worst, even going into court to try and sabotage the hearing to settle the real estate, shoving his mother and completely ignoring her when she tried to ask him why he didn’t want her to have her house. He started out using his two children as a tool to get his mother to do what he wanted, which was always to get her house and property out of her, be it for her to give it to him and his wife, sell it to them, co-sign a loan, whatever it took, he wanted her house. When using the kids didn’t work, he began coming back around pretending to care, but never enough to give back the money that he made her pay to buy the house! After the real estate was settled, the mother, Doris, suddenly claimed that she couldn’t keep up the house any longer, she knew that of all of her children, Emma was the one that her ex worried about most and she was the one who needed a home.

Currently, Doris offered the youngest son Jim the house, knowing that it would destroy Emma, who was the catalyst to her getting her property and the one who always tried to take care of her as best she could. When Doris was asked how she could do that after how rotten Jim acted to her and how he made her pay him for the property, her reply was that Jim said that he didn’t know that he took the money from her for the property! Emma states that Doris has played favorites with Jim all of her life, he is the baby and feels entitled to everything, he doesn’t believe that one should have to actually work for what they get, his mom owns a house and he owns a trailer but since she has a house and he never made it a priority to buy one himself, she should allow him to have hers. Emma said that she’d rather see it sold to a stranger than for him to get it.

Emma says that she has shared her feelings with her mother and that as always, her mother thinks more of what Jim feels, she has said right along that she sees Doris put away in the coming years after doing the deal, everyone knows that Jim has no real use for her, that he only wants her property. Please share your thoughts with me on this, I feel that Emma is again getting the short end of the stick, that she’s right about her mother having always wanted sons and not daughters and that she’s still favoring her baby.

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2014 in Personal Stories

 

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Beware of False Friends

Beware of false friends! You all know the type, buddy-buddy to your face while they sink a sword into your back, nothing better to do than to gossip about you within your community, furious when you don’t have time for their nonsense and cut them out of your life. Worse yet, they pretend to be your friend and a friend to others when all they do to everyone is trash talk them behind their backs!

When this type of person finds out that you are aware of everything that they have had to say from the start and they are caught, unable to deny it any longer, they try to turn it around onto you. You made them two-faced, you talked about them, you called them to the carpet and put them on the spot, you are the trouble making gossiper! Hell, you are the sole reason that they are two-faced with virtually everyone they know or have ever met!

False friends are probably one of life’s hardest lessons, to be wary of everyone because of this type is horrible, by the same token, to see that there are such evil people out there makes one leery. They actually believe that they have been good friends and that others have taken advantage of their so called friendship and “kindness”! I would have to brush up on my psychology but I know that there are shared traits with……. is it a socio or psychopath? Perhaps it could be both.

These false friends need to believe that they are right, the rest of the world is wrong, they are always a victim even as the venom drips from their mouths. They need approval, to hear that they are right and they cannot survive without an audience, someone to hear all of the nasty crap that pours from their mouths, they tell the same things to every other person they see and often they are suffering in some way, be it always having some type of medical issue or their feelings are supposedly hurt. The type needs two things to be able to go on, pity and an audience for them to play to, when they are alone with their thoughts (God only knows what those dark thoughts are), they feel even sorrier for themselves.

Beware, I mean that, watch out for these false friends lurking about your life, run far and fast if you encounter one or worse, more than one at a time. Even though life is full of them, the stress of knowing that your trust was misplaced and that you wasted so much time on those with a lack of morals can make your life significantly more miserable.

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2014 in Personal Stories

 

The Four Flavors of Gossipers

Gossip DisherThe one who is always dishing out any gossip they can, be it fact or fiction.

Gossip Receiver: One who listens to any and all gossip they hear, often perking up at the mere thought of gossip.

Bi-Gossip: One who listens to all gossip going around and also spreads gossip at every given opportunity.

Hypocritical Sneaky Bi-Gossiper: The sneaky bi-gossiper both listens to and spreads all gossip they hear, but they pretend not to be into gossip at all, not to be two faced, and worst of all they twist what they hear, adding sordid details and omitting anything that’s of an innocent nature.

The Neither-Nor: The most rare type of person of them all, the one who is disinterested in gossip all together, not wanting to hear or repeat any type of gossip about anyone.

Face it, the greatest majority of people on the planet love to gossip, sad as it is, it’s true. Some people don’t care if their stories ruin lives, ruin relationships, careers, it just doesn’t matter, what matters most is how juicy and sordid the story is. Every now and again you find that rare personality in someone that does not like sitting around bad mouthing other people, in fact, they abhor it, but as I’m sure you well know, it is rare indeed.

The worst type is the one who states that they do not gossip and don’t allow others to do it around them: they are closet gossipers, sneaking around stirring the pot behind everyone’s back. Still worse is that they change the stories around, adding a pinch of adultery here, taking away a good deed there, and all for effect! Always working behind the scenes in their attempts to keep up the facade, never owning up to the fact that they are in reality, a sneaky hypocritical bi-gossiping trouble maker.

While there are those who mostly just listen to gossip, and those who run around spreading it, most people are true bi-gossipers, equally listening and spreading everything they hear and create around. The question is, when is gossip just juicy stories one hears about a neighbor, and when does it become something darker and much worse? So and so got kicked out of church for being at the local bar, it’s big news in a small town. What about when someone jealous of someone else makes up a story that they were caught with another man or woman, or someone makes up a story that someone else is beating their child up, or someone is stealing company funds at work? These things aren’t idle gossip, these stories can ruin lives and the B.S.’ers don’t stop to realize these things before they go around town spreading their B.S.

The Neither-Nors are truly the most rare people out there and it’s a shame there aren’t more of them, they mind their own business and keep to their own lives. Perhaps they have experienced the damage that gossip can do, or they just aren’t into hurting other people, whatever the case may be, I think that we can all learn a lesson from them.

I know of a woman that makes it her aim in life to gossip about all of her neighbors, all of her acquaintances, even all of her own family members! I passed along a small tidbit of gossip recently just to see how long it would take her to repeat it, she even surprised me, it took exactly 24 hours and the story was passed along! While I know her to be a huge storyteller, I must admit, the speed of her version of the Telephone Game was record-breaking. It’s extremely disappointing, but not at all surprising.

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2014 in Personal Stories

 

Judging The Toothless?

I think it’s human nature for most people to have unrealistically high opinions of themselves, most everyone claims tat they are not prejudice, that they do not form an opinion of another person based on income, material possessions, race, religion, and especially not on looks. Truth be known, everyone at some point in time judges another, it’s just life and I doubt that some people can help themselves.

Recently I noticed a peculiar, disturbing fact while working at a friends small shop that is located in a small town in PA. Some drive cars that look as if they will fall into a heap when they open the drivers door, some have loose windows held in place with duct tape and still others have cardboard where the windows should be but guess what? No one judges the driver of the  car! There are those that come into the store wearing the same pajamas they wore all week, some carry sandwich bags filled with unrolled change, and though there’s no nice way of saying it, there is the occasional one that never showers and believe it or not, still no one is judged. The community I refer to is a relatively poor one and most of the locals there are fairly tight knit, however, there is one exception that I have seen that is always judged, and in every community I have seen too.

Regardless of what a person drives, no matter how well dressed, no matter how intelligent or beautiful they may be, if they open their mouth and are missing teeth or have visibly bad teeth, they are almost always judged. I witnessed a woman enter a business and she was stunning, though not wearing a suit she was very clean and neatly dressed. Employees were nice to her until she opened her mouth to speak, she was missing a few teeth and was painfully conscious of it. As soon as the woman left, the talk began, though the curled lips were immediate, what a skag the woman must have been, wasn’t it something that such an attractive woman would be seen walking around like that. A fellow shopper knew the womans story though and told the others that she lived alone, had no living relatives and had lost her home because she was left without much financially when her husband died. It was also revealed that she didn’t talk a lot in public because she was so embarrassed of her teeth! Bottom line, the woman didn’t want to be without all of her teeth, she had no choice because she couldn’t afford to get them fixed.

A person can change their clothing, their residence, the car they drive maybe but they cannot get dental help if they cant afford it, so they can’t change their teeth! I began to pay better attention to such cases and I was deeply disturbed by what I saw each and every time, no matter who it was with bad teeth, they were called names and it was automatically assumed that they were real low lives, Hillbillies, or scumbags because of their teeth. I talked to a couple of them and was disgusted to find that not one of them didn’t care, all were ashamed, not one would eat out because of their shame, each had serious health issues because of their dental state and none could get a loan to get them fixed!

Society worries about health care for children, seniors, and in general, but rarely have I seen a whole lot of coverage for dental work, in fact, I have never seen adequate dental coverage, if at all. I have also seen only one dentist in my life that does free dental work one day of the year and there are so very many lined up before he opens that over half are not even seen. Needless to say, that dentist is an anomaly, like many professions that bring high pay they simply want the money and do not care about the patient.

A final point, a woman that I’ve known for many years who has severe dental issues and cannot get a loan for the extensive dental work she needs, several years ago woke with her entire head and neck swollen. She was in agony from pain and I took her to a dentist to be seen right away, he charged her $80.00 for the visit and told me to get her to the emergency room immediately or she would die within 48 hours! After her being in the ER all night with rounds of IV antibiotics and shots to ease her pain, they told me to get her to an oral surgeon right away. I then took her to an oral surgeon who confirmed that she’d die without all of her bottom teeth being removed, which would leave her unable to chew without dentures. When she stated that she couldn’t afford the seventeen hundred dollars but could make payments, he told her to get a loan and call him when it was approved! Of course she’d tried getting loans for years prior and was denied. Luckily, after being hospitalized the infection was cleared up, in spite of it having traveled just about to her heart and brain but still today, she has not been able to get help with fixing the issues! She was told that it was only a matter of time and that next time it’ll be worse.

Perhaps someday in the near future, we’ll see some kind of help for people like those with bad teeth, I’m sure not one wants to go around without teeth to chew with, without smiling or talking because of their shame. Might want to remember that if you should see someone like that out there because who knows, unless you’re rich, it could be you.

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2014 in Personal Stories, Politics

 

An Elderly “Rose” And Her Thoughtless Daughter

Rose was a funny elderly relative who lived by herself in an apartment in Pennsylvania, she got around by bus and did a lot of walking, since she enjoyed getting out so much, she would go every day to get a coffee or go window shopping or visit with friends. Roses closest friend was actually a cousin, Doris, they were like two peas in a pod and more like sisters than anything else. Rose only had one child, Glinda who lived in Florida near to her only daughter but Rose stayed in touch with Glinda and visited every now and again.

One day, years ago Glinda decided that it would be best if her mother lived near to her, rather than live near her friends and family up north and convinced Rose to move down south to Florida. Even though Rose had her reservations about leaving the place where she was happy, she went along with her daughters wishes and relocated. Doris and Rose made a promise that they would keep in touch by sending cassettes to each other regularly, as it was easier than writing letters and nicer to hear each others voice, giving the sense of being right there with them. For many years that’s exactly what the two closest friends did, and each woman would take a trip to visit the other every couple of years.

Rose had her own apartment in Florida and was able to maintain her independence, still taking the bus and walking to go out shopping or to grab a bite to eat. Elderly people, just like others of all age groups, sometimes are forgetful and one day Rose forgot her keys or something and Glinda became overly concerned. Since she worked for an attorney anyway, she had him draw up a power of attorney and insisted that Rose sign. Naturally Rose was perplexed by the idea but she truly trusted her daughter and had no reason to suspect that she had any hidden agenda, she went ahead and signed. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what happened next but I will.

Rose was surprised when Glinda was at her door insisting that she go to the doctor, when Rose tried to question why, her daughter told her that there was something wrong with her, that she’d become too forgetful and confused. She actually had Rose questioning herself, assuming that Glinda had some information that she didn’t. She went along to the doctor where Glinda talked to the doc and told him that vshe felt her mother would be better off in a home where she could be taken care of. She emptied her moms apartment, sold off all of her valuables and dropped her off at the home. Rose began to go down hill physically and mentally after pleading with her daughter that if she couldn’t live alone then please let her live with her, the answer was an instant “No“.

When Doris didn’t hear from Rose in over a month and her correspondences went unanswered, she tried to call her friend only to find that the phone had been disconnected. When she called Glinda she learned of Roses fate, strangely though she would not tell Doris where Rose was taken, a phone number or address for mail, instead she said to send everything through her! Doris did just that but everything went unanswered and when she tried to call Glinda again she wasn’t able to get an answer there either.

Time drug on and finally one day Doris received a phone call from Glinda who allowed Rose to speak with Doris for a short time. In spite of Glinda monitoring the call, Rose was able to let Doris know that her daughter was running the show, that she wouldn’t allow her to get mail or phone calls at the home and wouldn’t let anyone know where she was. Toward the end of the call Rose broke down sobbing and asked Doris to come and get her, Glinda told her to stop the nonsense or she wouldn’t let her talk to her again, it broke Doris’s heart to hear her friend beg her daughter to allow her to go up north to visit her, Glinda grabbed the phone and snapped that she wasn’t to talk to Doris again, then she hung up!

Come to find out Glinda has a house, a two bedroom, two bath, her husband suggested that they let Rose live there with them and that was out of the question. Even though she was retired she didn’t want what she considered the burden of having her mother live with them! Glinda had wondered for a long time what would happen if her mother became unable to take care of herself and didn’t want to have to take care of her, thats why she had her sign the power of attorney.

Why, when a parent ages do the children, more often than not stuff them in a home? As if that isn’t bad enough they rob them of their friends and any socialization they might have. It sickens me to hear people say that they don’t owe their parents anything, that they didn’t ask to be born! Yes, you do owe your parents, they raised you the best they knew how and I guarantee that they went without a lot themselves to provide for you! Aging isn’t a crime and the elderly shouldn’t be punished for it, we’re all going to be old someday and karmas a bitch. What you do to your parents will be done to you, tenfold. Sadly, this is far from being an isolated case, it happens all the time every day, everywhere, in every country.

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2013 in Personal Stories

 

Polluting with Friends in Higher Places

It seems that in small towns politics are dirtier than ever! In a small town in northeastern Pennsylvania, if you know or are related to the right person, then you can put a trailer as close to a neighboring property as you like and allow your septic to pollute their well! After it’s polluted, you’re simply told to drill a new well. Do any of you know how expensive it is to drill a well?

If you travel a little bit further up the same road where this property is located, you’ll find that a certain party pollutes the area creek daily. Not only did the people rig it for their toilets to drain directly into it, but they also set up their washer to run into it as well. These same people (at one time there were eleven people living in the same tiny trailer) dump all of their garbage into the well-known large pond nearby, along the road, and onto neighboring properties, a majority of it being dirty diapers! In an area where the majority of people were environmentally conscious, this would never occur, and if by chance it did, they wouldn’t get away with it.

When you call to report these things, no one gives a damn. After all, it’s an issue that truly is a problem for all of us, yet no one cares to go and see for themselves or take action! Now I can tolerate a lot of things, but people blatantly polluting water and land, I cannot. This particular family brags about how they continue to have children so that they can collect public assistance and WIC, and they also have more animals than they know what to do with – the sickly and poorly taken care of animals never receiving veterinary care, either. So because they are this type of people, are we to feel so sorry for them that we allow them to dump garbage all over so that they don’t have to pay for it to be collected? It may seem harsh, but I don’t think that people like that should be allowed to have any pets! You can’t afford to pay for garbage pick up, to have your toilets, faucets, showers and washer hooked up correctly, can’t supposedly afford pet food and vet care, so why torture the animals?

Now before that shadow of pity might cross your mind, consider this: the party I speak of crams a load of family members into a small trailer, push for the females to keep getting pregnant for the benefits, pollute neighboring properties and worst of all, they pollute the creeks and the large well known pond in the area with their garbage, consisting mostly of heaps of dirty diapers. This same crew has a bunch of dogs, birds and outside cats which are never fed and don’t get medical attention. A witness said that one of them was seen beating a dog with a baseball bat until it soiled itself, and when it did, it was beaten until it collapsed. When the witness ran screaming at the person doing the beating, he was told to mind his own ‘F’ing business or he’d be next! The dog warden was called, saying all he could do was to be sure that it had a “tag”. When a call was placed in for animal cruelty not a damned thing was done. A couple of the clan members were jailed for various crimes and released, only to commit more crime and be re-jailed.

You be the judge. What can you do in a case like this? Where no one wants to take action, no one will come investigate, and no one cares? Water is life. You can do nothing without it. Not cook, shower, flush, drink, nothing. Therefore a property is 100 percent useless without usable water. So, what do you do? You can’t sell it like that, can’t afford to drill a well because of some ass who used their connections and basically shit in your well, and you can no longer live in your own home! You can always haul water from somewhere else or buy it, but not when you need it to shower, do wash, wash your hands, drink and cook!

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2013 in Personal Stories, Politics

 

Abusing The Old And Animals

Do any of you out there volunteer your time to help out anywhere, like at an animal shelter or a senior citizen center? Surprisingly, it’s very rewarding and can do more for you, as the volunteer, than it does for those you volunteer to help. By the same token, it can be most stressful, especially when you see first hand the abuse that goes on behind closed doors.

I have seen more animals than I could ever count, abused and abandoned, kittens only a few weeks old put in a tiny box, taped up and thrown into a dumpster to die. A three month old German Shepard having been beaten so severely that all four legs were broken, then he was taken into the woods and left to die in horrible agony. He couldn’t so much as crawl, so he laid there barely able to whine from the pain and waited to die. Thank God in Heaven, a man was hiking with his own dog, and his dog sought out the wounded one. The dog now has a forever home, and though he’ll never walk correctly again, at least he’ll be loved and well taken care of for the rest of his life. Could you fathom a beautiful Maine Coon cat, with long striped hair and white on her chest and paws, having some idiot cut half of her tail off, and put some type of accelerant on her, then light her on fire? The sheer excruciating pain  that she must have suffered as she lay in a garbage can to die! I will never, ever, be able to grasp why some people are just cruel, abusive, good for nothing, vile pieces of trash! Why someone would harm a helpless animal who cannot defend itself is way beyond me!

In a certain nursing home several years ago, there lived an old man. He was somewhat cranky, as anyone would be in his shoes. Because he was cranky, one of the male aides who worked there decided that he was going to teach the old man a lesson to sum up the disgusting situation. Alfred (the elderly man) ended up with two fractured ribs, bruises covering his body, a black eye and a fat lip! He was put into the home to be taken care of, not to be abused. Now before you go assuming that this was a rare event, let me assure you, it happens a lot, and this I know to be a fact. It may not happen at every home, but trust me it does happen and much more frequently then you or I hear about. There was a bedridden woman at another facility not too awfully far from the first one, she could not communicate, walk, or move by herself. Mildred was ill for several days with no one monitoring her regularly, when one particular aide came on duty that third night of Mildred’s illness, she took her vitals as all aides were supposed to have been doing, and discovered her temperature was 106 degrees! The head nurse was notified immediately, her response was that someone didn’t know how to take a temp correctly, and that if it was that high she’d be dead. Wasting even more time, the head nurse took and retook the temp 5 times! Needless to say, the ambulance was called and she was taken to the hospital, the last place she’d ever be in this life!  One of the saddest things witnessed by visitors to several nursing homes was elderly patients strapped into their chairs, left in the hallways begging for a drink of water or something to eat, and totally ignored!

These are not isolated occurrences, by any means, and I’ve seen so many horrid incidences that make me physically ill. Be it the abuse of the elderly, or the abuse of an animal, it’s unacceptable. Animals are like babies in that they cannot defend themselves, and they depend on us for their very survival. They can’t get up and get a drink for themselves, or make themselves something to eat. They ask so very little and give us so very much, loving us regardless of how we look or act. The elderly aren’t a whole lot different in the way of needing care. Many of them find that one day their home is emptied, their belongings sold along with their house, and lastly their bank accounts are emptied, and then they are taken off to a nursing home and dumped! Most of the time, their loved ones don’t bother to come and visit, and as such they become utterly alone! As if that isn’t enough to dampen their spirits, they are sometimes beaten and have food and or drink withheld from them! Why?

We tend to forget in life that all roads lead to the same place. We’re all going to get old, we’re all going to be at someone else’s mercy, karma’s going to find us, and we’re all going to get back what we give, tenfold! How can one look into an animal’s eyes, or their grandparents’ eyes, and be abusive? How can anyone withhold the very basics of life? Does it bring some warped mind satisfaction, some sick power trip to feel like a big person because they can bully and push around old people or helpless little animals? Whatever the reason, it needs to stop. Things like this should never have been tolerated anywhere to begin with.

 
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Posted by on July 18, 2013 in Personal Stories